With you all the way, Hornmeister!
by xXDonnaTylerXx
Summary: Forsooth and verily all endeth happily in the snogging department. But... what happened next? A continuation of the ending to the final book, with the gang, the exes, and Libby's reactions to the news about Gee and Dave. G/D
1. Chapter 1

Hi! Totally new to the world of Georgia fanfic, I'm ashamed to admit, but I have only just yesterday finished reading "Are these my baoomas I see before me?" and totally can't get enough of Gee/Dave... Sooo happy with the way the book ended (obviously!) but I really really wanted there to be more, to see how the other characters would react, how everyday life would change for the gang etc. after the accidental snogging partners became loved-up type things. And that's all this fic is really, sort of the way I hope book eleven would go if there were ever going to be a book eleven, which there isn't :( Don't really know exactly where I'm going with it yet so bear with me, I just couldn't bear to say goodbye to the gang just yet. Couple of reviews would be lovely, hope you enjoy it!

Donna xxx

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**Friday october 14th**

**After Show**

"Go on then, Sex Kitty, Ill be your girlfriend. It'll probably all end in tears. Mine. But... I am Dave the Biscuit. I will survive. Give us a snog and possibly a _rummachen unterhalb der taille. _Go on, you know you want to."

And I did want to. The snogging bit, I mean, not the nine on the scale. Particularly if it was in German, I know all too well how those Leiderhosen-a-gogo people can be. I wonder if the Germans do anything special snogging-wise, like how the Italians (I.e. the Luuurve God... although I should really no longer refer to him by that title if I officially have Dave for my girlfriend... boyfriend. Damn it.) do their varying pressure and neck-kissing. I must remember to ask Herr Kamyer some time.

Actually, forget that. I shall never bring up _knutschen _in front of Herr Kamyer because a) he is a teacher and has strange legs and that is more disgusting than discussing snogging with my Vati and b) because he will immediately start thinking about Miss Wilson, as we all know he has a major case of the specific horn for her since accidentally seeing her in the nuddy-pants on our legendary school camping trip. Ooh, the look on his face when the shower fell down and he caught a glimpse of her in-

"Kittykat?" It was Dave, "Earth to Georgia?"

Me and my bloody daydreaming and mental thoughts going off track.

"Yes thank you, Dave," I said in a very cool way that was full of pleasantnosity, "I was just thinking about Miss Wilson in the nuddy-pants."

Oh dear _gott _in _himmel. _For a second, understandably, he looked shocked, but then because it was just Dave the Laugh he just... well, er, laughed. I wonder why I can hear Ellen in my head now, dithering about in an "he just, like, erm, laughed... or something" way.

"Good grief, Sex Kitty, don't tell me you're on the turn? I really was only joking about that me being your girlfiend thing, you know, you can get any ideas about me dressing up in heels and lipstick out of that pretty head of yours right away."

And then _I _laughed, without even bothering to put my tongue attractively behind my teeth or stop my nose from spreading, because it is just Dave who likes me the way I am and thinks I am the most beautiful girl in the world. And when I remembered him saying that to me, I stopped laughing and got such a full attack of the weak knees and jelloid knickers that Dave had to grab me and snog me again before I fell over.

We were doing five with just a hint of six, and were around halfway to number four when from nowhere I heard an unmistakeable sound: The thundering of little feet, a verse of "Maybe it's beCOD I'm a Londoner" and the sound of my dear, delightful little sister shrieking "Dave the Tart! Dave the Tart and Ginger, KISSEY KISSEY KISSEY!!!"

In the midst of things, I had almost entirely forgotten the fact that we are at school after the sensational performance of _Rom and Jule, _and therefore the entire Von Trapp Family Mad are here. We had barely pulled apart before Libby hurled herself onto Dave, held on tightly and began snogging his leg, pausing every few seconds to mutter "bloody Gingey... bloody Dave all mine... Tart..."

I quite literally put my head in my hands, but Dave being Dave and being as amazing and lovely and gorgey as he is, just laughed and bent down to extract Libby from his leg and pick her up, whilst I got Mr Fish from where Bibbs had discarded him on the floor and switched him off, thank god. You'd think he'd learn a new song soon, but no, it's still just beCOD he's a Londoner. Fair play and good luck to him, I say.

"Well hello there, pretty lady." Dave said, as Libby put her hands on his face and beamed scarily at him... and then I heard another sound which could only bring trouble, the clip clop trot of my mother's ridiculous tarty shoes on school lino and her cry of "LIBBY!"

As soon as she came around the corner and caught sight of Dave, Mutti went into full on mincey mode, fluttering her eyelashes and swinging her hips and the lot of it. She really has no pride or indeed, shame, that woman.

"Oh _Dave! Hiiii!" _She twinkled, smiling in what I'm sure she imagines is an attractive manner as she pulled Libby off of him amid cries of _Gerrof, minger! _and_ I LOBE Davey!_, "I thought you gave a fantastic performance tonight!"

"Well actually Mrs Nick, I wasn't in the performance... Just lighting. But hey, didn't our Georgia do a great job?!" He gave her his charming smile (which is in fact vair vair charming if I might say so) and slung his arm around me, giving my shoulder a squeeze, "Wherefore art thou pants and all of that..."

Mum barely registered what he said, so busy was her brain at that second. I could practically see her working it all out, pinpoint the exact moment whan she realised. She is so unbelievably slow and crap at most things, but this she could pick up on in an instant. I am now counting down the seconds in my head before the predictable huge smile spreads across her face...

Quick glance at his hand on my shoulder... 3...

Remembrance of everything that had been said so far... 2...

Examination of the ruffled state of both Dave and mine's hair, plus my lack of lippy... 1...

A huge smile spread across mutti's face. "Aaaaaaahhh..." She said slyly, "I, er, _catch your drift _now." And then she did something so horrendous and sickening and beyond the valley of sadnosity that I almost died in Dave's arms. She actually, physically _winked_ at us.

"Mother..." I began in a horrified whisper, but just then there was a cry of "CONNIE!" from around the corner, and my dad came dadding into sight. How fabulous, the whole family is here to make things as lovely and awkward for us as humanly (and indeed martianly and all other alien-type-thing-anly) possible. It's like the Jerry Springer show, except there is no-one getting beaten up or screamed at... Although the way Vati was looking at Dave's arm around me, perhaps that could change quite soon.

Hmmm, I wonder who would actually win in a fight between Vati and the Hornmeister...? At first I thought Dave because he really is rather lovely and muscular, and he is vair good at footie so possibly he could use a well-aimed kick or two to Vati's head to his advantage... But then I caught sight of the way Vati's clothes were straining at the stomach and waistline (absolutely full of grossnosity, I know) and realised that he could merely sit on the Hornmeister and would very surely crush him flat with his obesenosity.

How very _scheissenhausen..._But hopefully it will never be a problem because Vati in general quite likes Dave the Laugh, at least I hope... Either way, he went all formal and crap like he used to do in front of the Luuurv- in front of _Masimo_ when we first started going out.

"Connie." He said a bit shuffly-ly, "Georgia. Elizabeth. Dave." And he did really a very strange thing where he sort of nodded at us all in turn in greeting. Probably something he has seen in some Victorian film or something, I really honestly will never understand that man for as long as I live.

Of course, Mum was still practising her way of controlling all men that she had learned at her psychic lessons (or wherever it is she buggers off to on a Monday night and leaves me with no food... Not that she generally cooks for me anyway, _ever_) and said smoothly "Bob, we are ready to leave now. Please take Libby, go and fetch my handbag and her toys which I have left in the hall and then meet us at the car. We'll be giving Dave a lift home tonight."

I don't know what it is about Vati that gets so hypnotised by that tone of voice that Mutti uses, but it worked, and he just calmly took the squirming Libby out of Mum's arms, kissed her on the cheek and went off quickly in the direction of the hall. Dave looked a bit shocked at that, understandably, but quickly got the charming smile back onto his face.

"Really, Mrs N," He said, "You don't have to give me a lift, I'll be fine. This old biscuit could probably use the walk."

"Now don't be silly, Dave, I insist," Mutti said, acting like a proper mum for the first time in her life, "It's the least we can offer."

"But Mutti-"

"GEORGIA!" She suddenly snapped, back to her old dear self once more, "I said that is final, and you will accept that otherwise you can pay for the damage that walking home will do to those Versace shoes of mine, which you have once again borrowed without asking." She shot me a smug smile in a knowing she had won sort of way, and then said sweetly "I'll meet you at the car." And scampered off after dad.

"And that, Ladies and Gents, is my mother." I said, "Can you see now why I am so NOT full of pridenosity about ma famille?"

"Awww, don't be silly, Sex Kitten," Dave said with a grin as we went back into the hall, "You love them really, and so you should! Who wants a normal family, that would be so boring and so... well, just so _un-_Georgialike. And," He added, "The Hornmeister will simply not accept anything less than total Geogialike-ness."

And I smiled and said to him, "Dave, you are quite literally mad."

And he winked, in a way which was effortlessly nineteen hundred times cooler than when my Mutti did it, with an "As are you, KittyKat, as are you, and that is why I lo..."

And that was the moment when we both realised, after being so wrapped up in our lovely mental little conversation, that we were walking through the school hall.

Walking through the school hall where everyone was still milling about after the performance.

Walking throught the school hall where everyone was still milling about after the performance, including all of the Ace Gang and the lads.

Walking through the school hall where everyone was still milling about after the performance, including all of the Ace Gang and the lads along with the likes of Emma and Robbie and Masimo.

Walking through the school hall where everyone was still milling about after the performance, including all of the Ace Gang and the lads along with the likes of Emma and Robbie and Masimo, and Dave had his arm around me.

I think we both realised at the same time, we could both feel everyone's eyes on the back of us and were both thinking the same thing: "What the hell, in the name of Satan's _spangelferkel _do we do now???" We kind of both stopped in our tracks and looked at each other for a second in a cringey looking at each other sort of way.

And it was just then that he grinned his massive gorgey smile, winked at me and bellowed, startling Miss Wilson so that she fell over onto Herr Kamyer as he did so, "LET'S RUN LIKE THE WIND, MY RAVISHING SEX KITTEN!!!" And held out his hand.

And, because it was the only thing I could think of, I yelled "I'M WITH YOU ALL THE WAY, HORNMEISTER!", took his hand and we just ran out of the hall while everyone no doubt gawped like gawping things at our running backs.

Dave the Laugh and Georgia Nicholson, the most sophisticated and mature couple the world has ever seen.

I think not. However, after dashing across the car park giggling like les idiotes (stopping for a quick number five on the way, obviously) and squeezing ourselves into the back of the Clownmobile, I actually think we might be beating Mutti and Vati in the sophisticosity and maturiosity department.

There was actual havoc in that car, I tell you, with the olds jib jabbering on to each other about five degrees of rubbish whilst Bibbs sang "Cradle Mice" to the tune of "Edelweiss" at the top of her voice. I turned to face Dave (with some difficulty as we were ram packed in like sardines in a tin, another "advantage" of the ratty robin crap-mobile) and gave him my best shame-faced apologetic look, to see that he wasn't at all fazed by the madness going on around us as we crawled at a snail's pace through the streets.

He was just happily looking aout of the window with a sort of amused half-smile on his face, and silently took my hand and was gently stroking it with his thumb, which was actually lovely. Who'd have thought a little old number one (not _that _sort of number one, you cheeky minxes) could send such shivers down my spine?? Not me, but there you go. Ohhh, I love him.

However, the down-side was that as said shivers went down said spine (NB, also cosmic attack of the puckering and jelloid knickers), Libby picked up on it and immediately started shrieking about "OI! NO MORE BLOODY BANGING BUBBSY'S ARM, TOSSER!", and as "flunishment" she decided to let Mr Fish sing for the entire way home, occasionally beating me around the head with him so that the music jumped and became "Maybe it's beCOD... COD... COD... COD... COD..." Over and over again, whilst the fish still flapped pathetically on its little plaque. How delightful.

Finally, _finally, _after what must have been at least six days crammed in the car of hell, we pulled up outside Dave's house, and as the Hornmeister opened the door he kind of toppled out into the street like when you open a can and Coke sprays out everywhere because it's been crammed inside too long... Oh giddy god, please don't let this nightmare of a journey put him off me, that would be so just my luck.

But I needen't have worried, for as soon as he had fallen out, Dave popped up again with a "Ta Daaa!" which shouldn't have been funny but sooo was because it was him, and he was mine, all miney and haha to the rest of you.

"Thank you very much for the lift, Mr Nicolson, and Mrs Nicolson, I'll have to return the favour at some point." Of course Mutti went all fluttery at that, but before she could reply Dave hastily carried on, leaning over to tickle Libbs under the chin with a "Nighty night, Libby, be good."

And then he looked at me, and not in an Angus and Gordy looking at Bum-ty way but in a gazing upon the beautiful creature that was me way (if beautiful creatures have widely-spread noses and chin-lurkers these days) and said quietly, "Good night, daft little Gee, you be good as well. I'll see you tomorrow - give me a ring at about eleven to sort out the afternoon plans, yeah? Night night, Kittykat." And then, with a small smile and a wink, he shut the car door with a rattle (I don't know any other type of car which has rattling doors, but that's beside the point) and went into his house.

**10:20**

Got into house in loved up dream state only to find the phone ringing and the answering machine shouting out that there were sixteen new messages. Oh, baby J, whay do you do this to me??? Gadzooks, Dad will go ballisticismus if he hears this... Quickly kicked the plug out of the wall so that the ringing and angry robot voice were silenced just before he came into the house. Thank Sandra for that... I will deal with the messages in the morning. Now for a heavenly loved-up cleanse, tone and moisturise.

**10:40**

Finished the skin rejuvenation, as, in official new role as boyfriend of Dreamboat I must constantly represent all that is radience and perfection. And must therefore be a totally be a blackhead free zone.

**One Minute Later**

Now in what would have once been referred to as my bed of pain, but is no longer a bed of pain as much as an inner sanctum, a paradise if you will, for me to be in while I reflect on my heavenly life and times with delightful new boyfriend.

Well. At least it would be if there was not a sleeping four-year-old under the covers as well, clinging tightly to me whilst she writhes around muttering "My Davey" under her breath. I think I might have a bit of competition in Libby, perhaps we will end up like in that film "The Other Boleyn Pants" where Scarlett Johannson and that woman from Star Wars fight over the same man, and then Jedi lady gets her head chopped off... Although, it is far too full of Tudornosity for me, as we all well know I belong much more in the Shakespearean era. That was an era... right? Must ask Miss Wilson some time.

But for now I am too busy re-living the whole evening. Ooooh it has been so beyond marvey and crazy that I am not tired in the slightest, I doubt I will ever sleep a wink again in my life, let alon-

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...


	2. Chapter 2

Here we go with chapter two! I must just warn that I don't usually ever update this quickly, but I am so loving writing this story because I _so _want it to be part of the series! Thank you very much for the favourites, alerts and couple of reviews, they really mean a lot to me. Any more much appreciated! Enjoy, lovelies :)

Donna xxxx

PS Disclaimer: Quite obviously I do not own Georgia or any other character in the series (including Dave the Laugh, although it pains me every minute of every day as I luuurve him so) and make no profits from writing this. HOOOOOORN!

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**Saturday, October 15th**

**5:30 am**

**In Bed**

Oh lordy lord, what in the name of Slim's multiple chins am I doing awake at this time?? The mind really does boggle. I never realised quite how quiet it is at this time in the morning... Well, the Nicolson household equivalent of quiet anyway, I.e. Gordy yowling outside, Vati snoring like a snoring thing next door, Angus scrabbling away inside my duvet cover and Libby whispering to herself in her sleep about "snoggling". Still, it is quieter than usual which is really a vair vair nice change.

**2 Minutes Later**

Really am actually quite bored, though.

**30 seconds later**

Extremely bored indeed, or as good old Rudi Kamyer would say, sehr sehr _gelangweilt_. Hmmm, I wonder why I would think of Herr Kamyer at a time like this. Surely it is not normal to think of German teacher when waking up at 5:30 in the morning? Perhaps I have emotionally suppressed my subconscious feelings for him for too long... As in, having the specific horn for him and denying it for ages.

Ok, now I know I am cracking up, it is simply too early. No one in their right mind would ever fancy Herr Kamyer (Which is why Miss Wilson is his perfect match), especially not a girl fourteen years his junior who has a boyfriend.

**2 Seconds Later**

OH MY GIDDY GOD, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!! Suddenly, everything from last night has just come rushing back to me... Oh, how fabby! Can't believe I even forgot for a second about Dave and what he said and what happened... Mmmmm...

Oh hell's teeth. Also however just remembered the fact that at a time when it was critical for us to represent sophisticosity and maturiosity we ran out of the hall hand in hand shrieking about Sex Kittens and Hornmeisters. And the sixteen messages that were left on the phone which today must be dealt with. Buggeration.

Right, this time I am to deal with things like a proper grown up and everyone will amaze at the sparkling new version of me. Will just have a little zizz and then nip downstairs and listen to the messages and...

**10:02 am**

**Still In Bed**

"GEORGIA! Will you get the hell out of bed! NOW!"

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Buggeration.

**Six minutes later**

Wandered downstairs into the kitchen still in my pygmies to find Mutti in a sickeningly see-through nightie swearing at the toaster which contained three blackened squares which may possibly once have been toast, and Libby sitting in Angus's basket wearing nothing but Angus himself, clutched to her chest like some horrible Scottish fur coat. Need I make any comment on that?

No. Instead I just went into the hall to find that, very surprisingly, the phone was not ringing and the answerphone machine not shouting... How odd. perhaps all of my so called "friends" do not actually care for me or my love life in the slightest. Perhaps even Dave the Laugh does not give a pant about me any more, and am just alone in the world with not another single soul who cares or even-

Oh, hang on. I remember now, I unplugged the phone and answerer when I got in so that they would shut up. Maybe I will brave plugging them in again now.

**14 seconds later**

Oh heck, the second I plugged them in again the phone started ringing, so I swiftly removed the plug once more and have decided to plug just the answer machine in so that I can tackle the messages first and then brave actual human conversation. For the first time in my life I am glad that I live in a medieval household where we still have a separate phone and answering machine, even though I have nagged Vati for the past four years to get a proper all in one set with a phone you can actually carry around, rather than me standing in the hall like a lemon whilst the whole family listens in on my private conversations.

Anyway, I am going off the point, which is in actual fact the following: As soon as I plugged it in, the answering machine started shouting at me in its horrible voice again that we had sixteen new messages. Ah well, here I go.

New message one: "Hello? What do you want? Honest to god, I am sick of people ringing me up here and then not saying anything when I answer..."

Grandad, being a loon as usual. Ah well.

New message two: "Ooh hello Connie love, it's Maisie here. Sorry for ringing twice, but you know how his memory is these days... I was just ringing to ask what time little Georgia's performance is this evening? We are so looking forward to it, and I've knitted the lamb something as a little reward for when she's finished-"

I cannot bear to listen to any more of that one. Well, as unfortunate as it is, they obviously did find out the time of the show in the end because I could hear Grandvati's delightful comment about Melanie's nungas from backstage. Mind, it wasn't as funny as what Dave said when her shirt popped open, haha! He really is a Laugh. Ohhh, I love him... Anyway. Back to the messages.

New message three: "GEORGIA!!!!!!!! What the hell was that???" Jas. Oh, here we go, "_Pleeease _answer the phone, I really need to know what is happening! Did you talk to Dave in the end? Well, obviously you did, but I mean, what happened? Did he-"

Bored of that one now, far too predictable. Jog on, Jazzy Spazzy.

New message four: "Oi! Sex kitten!" My heart started racing then, before I realised that it was Ro-Ro's voice: "You shagging our Davey, or what? And how about the Italian Stallion, did you tell him to shift it? I need news ASAP, phone me back, little chummy."

New message five: "Gee, PLEEEEASE ring me!!! I really am desp-" Just Jazzy again, boring.

New message six: "Hi Gee, it's Tom. Just checking in to make sure you're alright, Jas is a bit worried because she isn't getting an answer from you or Dave and we both are just wondering what's happening with you two and eveything... See you tomorrow, anyway. Tara."

New message seven: "Hi babe, it's Jools... Just wondering what on earth that was all about with Dave the Laugh after the show? Really hope you guys have got it together, I mean Masimo was fabbity looking but really, Dave is quite honestly fit as and has the hots for _vous_, and you have a laugh with him, so... Ring me, anyway, and I'll see you tomorrow at the park."

New message eight: There was nothing for a while but a really weird hiccuppy noise and a kind of squeaky loud breathing, and then "Erm, Georgia, it's like, Ellen, or some- _Hiccup - _I was just, like wondering, type thing, about what happened with you and- _hiccup, sob - _with you and Dave the Laugh or whatever because, like, you kind of were holding his hand and_- hiccup - _arm around you, and he called you, like, erm, Sex Kitten... Or something. I don't know-"

Oh, I can't listen to any more of that. To be perfectly honest I had forgotten all about Ellen and her obsessive luuurving of Dave the Laugh even if she is going out with Dec these days... I have a feeling that will take more than a packet of midget gems to fix.

New message nine: "Alright Gee, it's Rollo here, just wondering what in the name of arse happened between you and Dave, 'cos he's not answering either and we're all a bit confused... See you both tomorrow for the footie, yeah? Bye."

New message ten: "Gee - _Dave._ Seriously, just one thing to ask... What number on the scale? I need info, NOOOW!! Is he good? Any techniques? 'Cos I've always thought he looks like he know what he's doing, if you know what I mean, if you've bagged him then that really is quite a catch... Let me know, anyway, and I do mean presently. HOOORN!!"

Mabs. Good god, I love that girl.

Message eleven was just the fringe flicker again, who I am going to ring in a minute anyway so there is no need to listen to her messages, however the next two were very amusing:

New message twelve: "Ahaaaaaa, it is my Georgia, ja? Rosie tell me for to ring you, sexy chick, for news about Dave the-"

And the message was cut off there, however the next one continued directly on from it:

New message thirteen: "-Laughing and such things. She want me for to ask you if you bang his trumpet or play his drums and similar, in which case I say LAA DEE DAH you cheeky muppet. I see you tomorrow when I play football, ja, and then we dance the night away in true viking style. I am loving you much."

Ahhh Sven, the nutcase. How in the name of Godzilla's (furry) cycling shorts, I ask you, did he manage to accidentally hang up, realise his mistake, redial my number, wait for the answering message to play and then continue his sentence as though nothing had happened? He never ceases to amaze me, that one.

New message fourteen: "Hello Gee, it's Robbie." That was enough to instantly stop me laughing at Sven's message and look up in disbelief as he continued:

"Look, Mas told me he's coming to London with us when we move, and I know it must be really hard on you to have heard that. I got the idea you were really into him and I feel a bit bad, what with me leaving you when I went to NZ and all, and now him leaving to go to London... I really am sorry about that Georgia, you know I didn't want to but it was something I had to do, and the fact that I had to lose you to do the thing I loved really tore me apart over there. Also I wanted to say that if what we saw last night is for real, I do honestly hope things go well for you and Dave, he's a top guy and I know he cares a lot about you. You'll always be very special to me, Gee, and I hope that this time we'll keep in touch when I move because I really would hate to lose you as a friend. Remember that I'm always here to talk to if you need it, and I'll see you soon, maybe tomorrow at the park? Take care."

Wowzee wow wow, that was unexpected. Bless him, bless him, bless him. Wet Lindsay must have had him practically bound and gagged when he first got back, and it is really nice to hear him being normal honest Robbie again. I mean, I know things never worked out for us, even if I did totally luuuurve him for ages, but I actually do really like him still and I hope we can be friends. Bless him. have I said that already?

Anyway, fifteen and sixteen were just Hunky and Po rambling on again... Guess I had really better bite the bullet and ring her. Oh hell, here we go.

**10:17 am**

Have just rung Jas, and upon hearing my voice she promptly slammed the phone down. This is how lovely my bestest pally is in a time of crisis. In about fifteen seconds she is going to realise that actually, she does indeed love me and desperately wants to hear all about last night, and she is going to ring me back and plead and beg me to forgive her.

**Fifteen seconds later**

The phone is ringing. Well I am sure as hell not going to answer it, not in a million billion years.

**Two seconds later**

Answered the phone and, surprise surprise! It was the voley one going ballisticismus at me.

"Georgia! Why on earth didn't you answer the phone last night, Hunk- _Tom_ and I tried to ring you for _aaages _and Rosie and Sven and Jools and Rollo and Mabs say they did too!!! What in the name of _arse _were you doing???"

"Well, I just kind of got home and didn't really answer the phone because I was so vair vair tired after the show. I would have thought you were too, Jazzy, after your amazing performance as Jule."

Flattery is nearly always the way to calm her down, the vain little vole that she is.

"Well I was, Gee, but you know, we were all shocked by the whole you and Dave thing-"

"Aaaah yes, that old chestnut. It's funny you should mention this, my little pally, for it really is a most amazing tale-"

"Georgia, what _happened?" _

"Alright Granny, keep your knickers on. Well, he sort of, well, he kind of..." Oooh, I'd come over all Ellen, "He might sort of be my new boyfriend, Jas."

Silence. "Jas?"

Still nothing, "Jazzy? Ma cherie? Hellooo?"

**Ten seconds later**

"Sorry, Gee, I just quickly went to tell Tom about you and Dave."

"Without even replying to me first? Thanks."

"Oh stop it, for god's sake, Georgia. We were all just worried about you. So, what even _happened?"_

"Well, I kind of called him a two-timer because he had supposedly dumped Emma for some mystery girl, and then he just kind of rolled his eyes in a rolling his eyes type way, you know like, when people roll their eyes-"

"Yes, Georgia! Go on." I rolled my eyes.

"Well, then he said that I was the thickest chick alive and that _i _was the mystery girl. And then..."

"Let me guess, number five?"

"Yup. And then he put his arm around me and said "Go on then, Sex Kitty, Ill be your girlfriend. It'll probably all end in tears. Mine. But... I am Dave the Biscuit. I will survive. Give us a snog and possibly a _rummachen unterhalb der taille. _Go on, you know you want to.""

"Gosh."

"I know, right! it's pretty bloody romantic if you ask me."

"But Gee, why did he say that, do you think?"

"What, about being my girlfriend? Because I said it accidentally instead of boyfriend and then-"

"No, about it all ending in tears. His."

"Well I don't know, do I? He probably didn't mean anything by it, just said it on the spur of the moment in the way people do... Does it matter? "

"Well personally I don't think so, but normally by now, Georgia, you'd be deconstructing absolutely every word he said."

"Now little Jazzy, I really don't think that's true."

"But it _is _though, if it were Robbie or Masimo you would have been on the phone straight away wondering what it all meant."

"Well, Dave quite clearly is not Robbie or Masimo, is he?"

There was a huge sigh from the other end of the phone - she really is taking this acting lark far too seriously.

"No Georgia, of course he's not. So what did he say when you said goodbye, was it a s'laters?"

"Don't be silly! It was really nice actually, he said that he'd see me tomorrow i.e. today, and for me to give him a ring at eleven to sort out plans for this arvie."

"Wow. So, what are you going to do?"

She really never ceases to amaze me. "What do you think I'm going to do, my silly little friend? I'm going to give him a ring at eleven to sort out plans for this arvie, just like I said."

"Wow."

"Wow _what_?? Jazzy, you are quite frankly starting to tick me off."

"Well it's just that you're so different with Dave... You don't seem to bother with all of the rubbish you usually spout about glaciosity and sticky eyes and nose-holders and all that rubbish. If this were Robbie or Masimo-"

"Which it _isn't._"

"...Which is isn't, you'd be all _Ooh, do you think I should actually ring him or will that seem too needy? Should I play hard to get? Do you think he meant it when he said this, what do you think that means? How long is 'later'_, et cetera et cetera. You just seem to be being a bit more mature about this, is all."

I didn't know what to say to that. Is she right? Am I really being more mature? I mean, I know that I don't get tongue tied in front of Dave like I did with the others, and I never worry that we'll run out of things to talk about... It's never once been awkward between us, except for when Robbie or Masimo or Emma were around which they most definitely won't be any more... Oh my giddy aunt, I don't know and I fear I never shall.

"Well," Jas continued, "With the exception, of course, of running through the school hall shouting like daft things, I mean..."

"Right. Well yes, thank you for that, Jas."

**10:50 am**

**In my inner sanctum AKA bedroom**

Told Jas that we would see her this aftie at the park for the lads' football game, and then came upstairs to get dressed after that muchos stressful half an hour of phone time, both listening to messages and actual stressy phone conversation with my bestest pally. She really has given me quite a lot to think about.

But right now, the more important thing to think about is which outfit that I have in my possession best screams "stylish yet effortlessly casual girlfriend of gorgeous young groovemeister". Hmmmmmmmm...

**10:56**

Ok, have decided on nice denim skirt (with woolly tights, obviously, as it is indeed October and therefore _sehr sehr_ nippy noodles in Billy Shakespeare land) and nice blue top. Must just nip next door and "borrow" mutti's leather jacket at some point before I go out, and all will be tip-top tidy.

Mmmm, I actually can't stop thinking about Dave the Laugh... He is so extremely groovy, how did I manage not to see for so long that he is indeed my one and only? I will just go down and phone him now.

**10:59**

Waiting for him to answer the phone. Oooh, all I keep remembering is the way he looked into my eyes when he told me how he felt, and just made me melt on the spot... And how he makes me laugh more than anyone else in this galaxy. And the lip-nibbling... Oh the lip-nibbling. I love him, really I do.

At which point, he answered the phone, really not what I was expecting at all, and I did that horrendous Georgia Nicolson thing which involves saying out loud exactly whatever crap it is that I am thinking at that precise second. So in actual, horrible but still true fact, the conversation went something (well, exactly) like this:

"Hello?"

"Dave, I love you."

A very, very long pause, and then... "Oh, christ." And he put the phone down.

Why did I say that? Why, I ask you, in the name of pants, WHY????

Oh poo, arse, bum-oley, _scheissenhausen_ and also just a touch of _merde. _Oven of love, here I come.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello again! Another quick update which is vair vair unlike me, but I don't know when I'll be able to do another chapter because next week I have all of my GCSE mock exams so will be doing a whole lot of revision... Rubbish, isn't it!! :P Thank you so much for my little reviews, they made me smile a lot and encourage me to write - any more are appreciated if you feel like letting me know what you thought! Hope you enjoy,

Donna xxx

* * *

Previously:

_At which point, he answered the phone, really not what I was expecting at all, and I did that horrendous Georgia Nicolson thing which involves saying out loud exactly whatever crap it is that I am thinking at that precise second. So in actual, horrible but still true fact, the conversation went something (well, exactly) like this:_

_"Hello?"_

_"Dave, I love you."_

_A very, very long pause, and then... "Oh, christ." And he put the phone down._

_Why did I say that? Why, I ask you, in the name of pants, WHY????_

_Oh poo, arse, bum-oley, scheissenhausen and also just a touch of merde. Oven of love, here I come._

Good God, I really am the thickest of the thick and dumbest of the dumb. How stupid does one have to be to tell someone they love them just a _day _after they become official snogging partners? Vair, vair stupid, I tell you, vair vair stupid and a half. And possibly three more quarters after that. Quite clearly I have petrified my marvey new boyfriend beyond belief, and must immediately try to repair damage. Oh, _scheisse._

**18 Seconds Later**

Waiting for Dave the Laugh to answer the phone.

**2 Seconds Later**

Still waiting.

**6 Seconds later**

Still wai- AAAH!

"Hello?" It was a woman's voice, presumably Dave's mutti.

"Oh, good morning!" I said in a state of startlednosity, "I was just wondering, if it wouldn't be too much trouble, to talk to Dave, please?"

What in god's name is wrong with me? Why have I come over all costume-drama and started being mentally formal? And also not making any sense? Kill me now, please, Baby J, and get it over with. Although, as the son of the lord, Baby J is most likely a pacifist and will therefore refuse to kill me... Oh for pants sake brain, shuttup shuttup shuttUP!

"Ermmm," Mrs The Laugh sounded a bit confused to be talking to a loon, "Actually I'm not really sure where Dave is at the moment."

"Really? But I just rang him up and then suddenly he put the phone down, about probably 11 seconds ago."

"Yes, I heard him answer the phone, but then the next thing I just heard the front door banging and Dave is not here now, also the side table in the hall has been knocked over and there is water on the floor... Sorry about that, erm... What was you name, actually?"

Good grief, this woman sounds as though she is from another planet. She is being, to be honest, vaguer than Jas on one of her vague days, which really is saying something. I will give Dave's mutti a medal if ever I see her, honestly I will.

"It's Gerogia. Well, could you please tell Dave to ring me if you ever, erm, well... Find out where he is? Have a nice day."

And then I put the phone down, after being again ridiculously formal and weird. But it is to be excused, I feel, as I am once again full of confusiosity with a touch of sadnosity... What can I do in a situation like this? I have been completely mindless and therefore my gorgey new boyfriend quite possibly has the hump with me, depending on where he actually is and if he is ever found again.

Will just nip upstairs and do my makeup.

**12:01**

**Bedroom of pain**

Ho-hum, squiglet's bum, I really am feeling extremely confused and upset. What if Dave actually hates me now? What if he has decided to eschew me with a firm hand for evermore, and I shall once again be the unloved, large-nosed reject from the valley of sad city that I was when I was fourteen? This whole situation is really rather _erschütternd._

**Four minutes later**

Okay, have finished foundation now and still nothing to enlighten me vis a vis the Dave situation. I will just do my eye make-up, I think, to make me at least look presentable and sophis. even if I do not feel it in the slightest. Humph.

**12:09**

Gadzooks! There is a loud banging on the door coming from downstairs (well, obviously it was coming from downstairs, given that my bedroom of pain is on the first floor and the location of the front door is in fact downstairs)! Immediately dropped mascara brush mid-swipe and ran down to pull the door open...

"Kittykat." Oh, thank the lord Sandra and all of the good and holiness he brings. It was Dave. A very out of breath Dave, and a Dave with extremely ruffled (and might, I add, adorable) hair... But still Dave, my Dave, standing on my doorstep clutching a huge bunch of red flowers and gazing dreamily at me.

I was about to reply, but almost as soon as I opened the door, he grabbed me and dipped me backwards into one of those sort of dramatic, gorgeous kisses that you see at the end of romantic films where the girl is literally swept off her feet by a handsome, dashing young thing who adores the pants off her (not literally, you cheeky thing, that is a different kind of film altogether).

And that is exactly what happened to me. At first it was a little scary leaning backwards like that because I was convinced I was going to topple over, but once I realised I had Dave's strong arms holding me up safely it actually felt amazingly amazing. Mmmmmmmmm, he is sooo delightful, and we had just reached number four when he stopped, gently stood me back upright and said, "Oh, thank Buddha for that."

I am literally blown away and shocked and, as it happens, quite out of breath.

"Dave," I managed, "What on earth was all that about? You had me so worried."

He looked a little sheepish, "Sorry about that, Sex Kitty, I know the plan was just to talk on the phone and meet up later, but as soon as I heard your voice and heard you saying _that,_I heard the call of the extremely specific horn and couldn't possibly have waited a minute longer than I had to." He bent down to pick up the bunch of flowers where they had been just dropped on the floor in al of the everythingness, "Oh, and I'm not really sure why but I brought you these. I guess I thought it would make it more romantic or something, I dunno... Think I might have knocked over an entire table when I grabbed them out of the vase, but that's beside the point..."

I giggled, "Yeah, your mutti said so on the phone, I think you confused her a bit by just running out of the house like that..."

"Whoops," He cringed, and then grinned in his lovely way that he does, "Sorry, Gee, I know you were worried but I couldn't help myself. I get that problem a lot of the time, actually-"

And then without warning, he kissed me again, stopping after a few moments to murmur, "Like then..." Another kiss, "And then..." And another - Oooh, this was really quite fab, "And th- hang on!"

He pulled back (a crime in itself) with a quizzical look on his face, and splutterd with laughter. "Georgie, why in the name of Angus' foot have you put makeup on one eye and left the other one completely bare?"

_"Bollocks."_

"Bollocks?" he spluttered, "That's your answer, you did it because of bollocks? Wow, Kttykat, I can't argue with you there..."

"Oh, shut up!" I swatted at him and missed, "I has to stop halfway through by vair important beauty regime because you came pounding my door down and then removed all of my lipstick, you unbelievable tart!"

"OOOOOOOH, handbags out!" Dave mocked, raising one eyebrow in a smug but also annoyingly sexy way, "I'm just waiting for your marvy Italian nancy boy to appear and start beating me with his Louis Vuiton tote and matching purse at any second..."

"Excuse moi, Dave?" I demanded cheekily_, _"But if it is Masimo who is the homosexualist then tell me this, how is it that you know so much about designer handbags and such? There's not something you want to tell me, is there, Hornmeister...?"

"Ouch." He looked mortally wounded, and I wondered for a second if I had actually upset him, but then an evil glint came into his eye, "Too far, Sex Kitty. Too far." And with that, he grabbed the bouquet of flowers from my hand and chased me up the stairs whilst attempting to beat me about the head with it.

Did Jas really and truly tell me she thought I was being much more mature with Dave? That just proves how insightful she is, if the word "insightful" is ever used these days to mean "dumb, fringey twit."

**12:20**

Then again, perhaps I am... After all, I just spent a good ten minutes in Dave's company whilst wearing make-up only on one eye and been perfectly comfortable, which I certainly wouldn't have with the others... Oh hell, I don't know. Now, in fact, is my opportune chance to finish off _ma maquillage _while he has nipped to the loo. Fantastico!

**4 seconds later**

Ugh, even in my own head that sounded far too Italian for my liking.

**1 minute later**

All stray thought of Italians were driven instantly from my mind as Dave walked in again, looking around him. "I do like your room, Gee, I have to say it's very _you."_

"Hmmm... Well, I'm not sure about that, but it is at least better than Jazzy's room with all her stuffed owls. have you seen it?"

"Ahh yes, Jas and her owls," he said, sounding quite reminiscent as he sat facing me on my bed, "Of course I've seen it, in fact I have had more than enough experience of Jas's bedroom..."

"Eeeew, you and your dirty mind. This is _Jas _we're talking about, you shouldn't even joke about that!"I attempted to push him off the bed.

"Oi! It's only natural to think about these things! Don't tell me you've never even slightly had thoughts of the horn for Tom..."

"Hunky??" I almost choked with indignosity, "NO! That is quite literally disgusting, what with him being the Sex God's brother and everything, that is practically incest of the mind... What?" All of a sudden, Dave's smile had completely fallen away.

"You, er..." He said quietly, sounding a bit awkward, "You still using that old nickname then, huh?"

"Oh, _merde." _I couldn't believe it, "Dave, I am so sorry, it literally just slipped out naturally. It's just..." How in the name of gandalf's beard do i explain this to him? I took his hand, "It'll take some getting used to is all, the whole us being together properly thing, you know? I mean, I am sooo beyond the city of happynosity about it, obviously, but we were mates for such a long time and I used to tell you everything about... About Robbie, and then Masimo, and I just-"

"I know, Gee." he said, smiling a little serious smile now and squeezing my hand, "This is new for both of us, I know. But it's fantastic all the same, I tried to tell you this is what I wanted for so long... And fyi... I used to hate it when you'd talk to me about Robbie and that Italian twat."

Bless him. Bless him bless him bless him... Wait, haven't I already thought that today? Oh yes, about the Sex- about Robbie and his answering message. I seem to be blessing a lot of people, perhaps I have been touched by the Lord Sandra or something. Eeeeeeeew.

"But Dave..." I asked, "Why, if you hated it so much, didn't you just say something? Why did you give me such good advice about what to do and how to be around them?"

"Well because, Gee, I wanted you to be happy. And I thought that being with them was what you wanted, and that you'd never even given me a second thought."

I swear to god, I am nearly crying, he is so adorable. "How..." Good grief, the cat's got my tongue. Although how, I don't know, as Angus and Gordy are both outside, I can hear them... Oh shut up brain, shut UP!

"You are actually madder than Libby, which is really an achievement. How could you think that," I asked, "When I kept... Well, when we kept... Kept..."

"Doing this?" Dave supplied, and then he kissed me. Oh heck, I've never been this jelloid in my life.

**15 minutes later**

We are still _rummachen_ing, and it really is beyond anything I've ever had before. He seems to be combining everything that has ever made a good snog: varying pressure, neck-nuzzling, ear snogging and, of course, the trademark lip-nibbling. Oh, I lobe him more than Libby used to lobe Jimmy the haggis with his scarf, and that really is a compliment of the first-class sort to Dave the Laugh.

**1:10**

Finally we stopped after forty minutes snogging without a break, because it really is time we should be heading to the park. Bloody hell, forty minutes, that has to be a new record for me!

Let me think, technically what was that on the scale? Lucky I am vair tip-top at maths (HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA) or I would be unable to work this out. So, three minutes is equal to a number four. Three minutes fits into forty minutes thirteen and one third times, so that is four multiplied by thirteen and one third... Oh scheisse, I need a calculator. Or, perhaps, a vair clever marvey boyfriend...

"Dave, what is four multiplied by thirteen and one third?" I asked, while we were sorting hair and straightening clothes and so-on in order to look full of inconspicuosity to the general public.

He blinked, "I beg your p?"

"I said, oh deaf one, what is four multiplied by thirteen and one third?"

"Why in the name of Cleopatra's thong do you need to know that?" Good question. Think, Georgia, think. Errrrm...

"Errrrm... Maths homework?"

"Give over, you muppet." he laughed, poking me in the ribs, "You're trying to work out what that was on the snogging scale, aren't you?"

"WHAT?" I spluttered, "How do you know about the scale?"

"How do you think?" He raised an eyebrow again. Ooooh he is lovely when he does that, I might have to snog him again... no. No, Georgia, answer the question.

"Radio Jas?"

"You got it, gorgeous, via the secondary transmitter I like to call Tom. And by the way," he added as we made our way out onto the landing, "It would be about 53.2, or fifty three and one fifth on the scale. Highly impressive, I think you'll find."

Anyway. Got halfway down the stairs to find dear old mutti standing in front of the phone, listening to a message: "...lot about you. You'll always be very special to me, Gee, and I hope that this time..." She paused it there, not realising that me and Dave were in the vicinity, and shouted at the top of her voice:

"GEORGIE! There's a message from Robbie Jennings on the phone for you!" I notice that she had decided not to bring up the other thirteen left for me, only the one from the ex-boyfriend. Cheers, mama. But oh, it got worse, "I haven't seen him in a while, is he still as fabby looking as he used to be?! Way hotter than Masimo, that one, although neither of them are quite up to Dave the Laugh's level of fitness, I don't think. Now he, Gee really is quite frankly GORG-"

"Mutti."

She spun around, and promptly turned a rather interesting shade of scarlet upon seeing me and Dave standing watching her from the bottom of the stairs, trying desperately not to laugh.

"Oh, arse." Was all she could manage - such a gentle, kind woman, that one, "I mean, er, hello Dave, Gee. I just have to, erm... Oh, that's Libby calling! LIIIBBS!" And she promptly ran into the kitchen.

"Thank you, Connie!" Dave winked at me and yelled after her, much to my horror, "Quite honestly I think you're gorgeous as well! Dig you later!" And then he grabbed my hand before I could smack him one and pulled me out of the house. Charming.

**1:30**

Dave and I got to the park before everyone else had arrived, even though we had to go past his house to pick up his footie kit. We wouldn't have had to, but of course in the haste of rushing over to mine to surprise me in that vair romantic and jelloid-tastic way he hadn't thought to grab it. Didn't mind, though, as a longer walk meant more time spent walking hand-in-hand with him which was absolutely lovely, especially as lots of girls were glaring at me, full of jealousnosity the whole way. Well they can go away, he is mine mine mine all miney.

Just arrived, and I was midway through telling him all about the way I left things with Masimo last night so we decided to sit under the big old tree while I finished the story.

"And then..." I swallowed, "And then he kissed me, really quickly, and then left. And so you see it is really really vair weird, because even though I was always going to tell him to go to London, I never got the chance to and so he is under the impression that _he _dumped _moi, _which is why he would have been doubly surprised to see us running out together like that. And so, if he's here today, I really don't know what he'll be like... I'm sorry, Dave."

"Sorry? What for, Sex Kitten? It's over between you, and completely and utterly under - pause for ooh-er - between us, which is all that matters. And I'm here and I have no problem in sorting him out if he decides to show up acting like a poncey knacker."

And he is right, of course, the fact that we're together now really _is _all that matters. And bloody hell, does he look absolutely gorgey... The answer to that is most definitely yes, he's just looking at me and doing a really tiny smile. Mmm... I think a snog is in order, immediately. And evidently so does he.

**Three minutes later**

Oh dear _gott _in _himmel, _that scared the life out of me! The groovemeister and myself were just getting on with a bit of number five, when I heard a gasp from not far off, followed by:

"I am sorry, Sven, but I'm afraid it's over between us. You see, I've just caught sight of _the _most attractive young couple snogging under that tree, and I simply cannot resist the urge to go and join in. LET THE THREESOME BEGIN!"

And next thing we knew there was a Rosie in our midst, very effectively putting a stop to the snogging by leaping on us from ten feet away with a jubilant cry of "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!!!!!!"

Just your average greeting then, as per bloody usual.


	4. Chapter 4

Bonsoir lovelies! Thank you very very much for the number of nice reviews I've had, and to the people who have favourited and alerted :) Muchos appreciated and do keep it up! Sorry the wait for this chapter was a bit longer, but I have mock exams all this week so revision etc is vair vair hectic and horrible and today was the first chance I got to quickly write this - it is a bit shorter than the others, but hopefully more will come soon once this week's over and done with! Enjoy,

Donna xxxx

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**2:00 pm**

**Park**

Aaah, lovely time with all the gang. For the first few minutes it was just Dave and me (!) watching with much amusiosity and RoRo and Sven excitedly yelped about, chasing each other like loons and generally being their bonkers Viking selves, before Hunky and Po ambled up hand-in-hand like an old married couple... I really must get them some walking sticks for their next month-iversary. Although, Jas could quite easily just go "OOOOOH Hunky!" In that annoying fringe-ridden voice of hers, "Look, Gee has been lovely and kind and bought us some walking aids for our next mountainous ramble!" And actually mean it. I pray she falls off, really I do.

Anyway, then the rest of them started showing up in the way that people do, first Jools and Rollo, then Mabs and Ed and then Declan, and it was really nice just all sitting under the big maple tree in the sunshine and having a bit natter on... Not to sound like a knitting circle or Alcoholics Anonymous meeting or similar events of equal sadnosity.

"So can I assume, by the lack of one hundred and nine gazillion questions currently being fired at us, that you all know what happened between me and Gee by now?" Dave asked, putting his arm around me, and everyone nodded away like Churchill the nodding dog.

"But, er..." He looked a bit confused, in a sexy confusiosified way, "How?"

"You don't even have to wait for an answer," I supplied, "I can tell you that in one short word. Jas." Again, back to the nodding like nodding things all around the knitting circle, "You see, Hornmeister, I am not as thickio as I look," I tapped my head, "Telling Jas and only Jas was my way of not having to phone everyone up individually, I knew they'd all find out about it the second we got off the phone. Less work and Vati-Phone-Bill-Nagging for _moi_!"

"Well actually," Dear old Jas said without a hint of remorse or shame at being a useless secret-kepper, "I told Tom while I was still on the phone to you, Gee, and then he started telling everyone else on his mobile straight away, so actually about three people knew before we'd even finished talking."

"I marvel, I really do," I said, not even bothering to be annoyed. I looked at Tom, "She's trained you up well, young Radio Tom. You should have a joint radio station, the pair of you, renting the airwaves would be a lot cheaper if you split the cost. Radio Jas and Tom, how adorable."

"They could call it Radio Tos..." RoRo mused.

"Nono, Radio Jam!" Dave supplied, and everybody, including Tom, fell about laughing... All apart from old flickey fringe who looked as uptight as if she had some very uncomfortable _legumes _down her knickers. Just like at the Fish Party so vair long ago, where I snogged Dave even though I had just become the SG's official one and only... Ahh, how times change. Must say though, it is a vair funny idea to conjoin people's name in a Brangelina-type-way. Must get Jazzy to help me work out the rest at some point, once she has stopped glowering.

"Isn't it actually quite bizarre-o," Jools remarked in between applying lipgloss (a pointless act as surely Rol would oversee its removal relatively soon), "How everyone in the group's paired off now?"

"Yuuurp," RoRo agreed, before scowling menacingly at me and Dave, "Very lucky... I didn't think it would happen really, what with these two dithering about and being too beyond thick-city to see the blindingly obvious and just _go out_!!"

"OI!" He retorted, "I think you'll find that me and Gee were the third couple out of everyone to get together, waaaaay back a whole two years ago... It just... didn't happen ideally the first time, that's all. So you, Rosie Mees, can royally bugger off."

"Hmmm," I said swiftly, wanting to get away from the whole Red Herring thread of conversation, "Speaking of dithering, where would our dearest Ellen be today, Dec?"

"Err..." He fumbled with the collar of his shirt and looked a bit shifty, "I dunno, actually. I phoned her up earlier and when I asked if she was coming today she sounded a bit snuffly, so I said something like 'But don't you want to see everyone after the show last night?' And then there was just kind of a squeally noise and the line went dead. She wouldn't answer when I tried ringing again so... I dunno."

All of the Ace girls exchanged worried glances - A member of the gang upset was unnacceptable. However I did have quite a good idea as to what she was squeally about... All I can say is _uh oh_. So did Dave, obviously, because we had been sitting next to each other but when Dec said that, he pulled me so I was half on his lap in front of him, and then reached his hands around my waist and hugged me so that I was leaning back into him... vair vair lovely and comforting... not to mention jelloid-inducing... however it really is a serious matter.

And that, of course, was when Ell came stumbling into sight, looking a bit red-eyed and even more dithery than usual - which in her case means the most dithery thing in the galaxy. She kind of nearly tripped over as she came towards the group, and then when she reached us she just sat down with a really loud thud, looked at Dave and then at me, and then at Dave and then back at me.

"I, erm..." She sounded a bit teary and a bit stroppy... oh _merde, _"What I mean is like, er... well." She sighed, "Hello."

The reply of "H- Hi Ell." from everyone sounded a bit hesitant, apart from Dec who put his hand on her arm and smiled.

"Hi, lovely. You ok?" He said in a really sweet way, but she didn't even look at him, and just kind of went "Yes." Which is the only straight answer she has ever given in her life and also is a complete porcupine's pork pie... i.e. a lie.

Everyone could feel the tensenosity in the air as Ellen went back to just sort of glaring at me and Dave, who hugged me to him just a little bit tighter, so I squeezed his hand. It's funny how I can know almost exactly what he is thinking without having to say anything, and really quite special and lovely.

"Erm..." RoRo cleared her throat in an awkward-ish way, "So, anyway! Now that we're all... here... I can share the good news!"

And we were all really glad for the change of topic and the fact that all eyes were on Rosie, so we were all "OOOOH!" and "Spill!" etc etc.

"Halloween party at chez moi on the 29th!"She squealed, "Everyone is coming or I will ensure you don't live to see bonfire night... It is vair exciting as it'll be the first party with us all as proper couples, so the luuurve fest can be out in the open air and this time Gee and Dave won't have to go and snog in the kitchen when they think that everyone's too preoccupied with Jazzie's veggy knickers to notice! HURRAAAAH!!!"

"Ahem." I said, as Ellen tried to disuise her little horrified squeak as a sneeze, "Why the 29th, RoRo?"

"Because, mon petit divvy brain, that is the nearest Saturday to Halloween, and no-way was I going to have the fete on a stalag night! Nooooonono, I for one do not plan to sleep that night nd will therefore need the _dimanche_ to recover."

"Ja, ja!" Sven joined in excitedly, "We shall boogie on down and the theme, sexy chicks," He winked at Rollo, "Will be DEATH!"

He shouted it so loudly it made everyone jump, it was so funny because you could actually almost see the whole circle leap into the air like a bouncy ball (or whatever... too loved up to think of a better example, leave me be) and also the group of about seven lads that had just come into view all looked a bit startled as well.

"Ooh," Edward said, "That looks like our opposing team, gents... Reckon we can take them down?" I looked at them, and they are indeed all actually quite fit, but I am very happy to report that I felt nothing at all, not even the tiniest of tingles, such is the new tamednosity of my previously wild and free red-bottom. Girls, the era of the cosmic horn is over. Thank christ for that.

"Hell yeah." Dave said, "If they get scared just by Sven shouting _death, _then just imagine what they'll be like when they get us on the pitch."

"Yeah, so long as our seventh player turns up, otherwise the whole idea of seven-a-side football is kind of buggered." Rollo said, "Where's Robbie, Tom?"

"He's on his way, he said he had some stuff to sort out with the Dylans before the match... We should go and warm up and he'll be here before the game starts."

"Sounds like a plan and a half." Dave said, giving me a quick squeeze before getting up, "Wish us luck, sex bombs!" He started to follow the rest of the boys, walking backwards and shouting "And Kittykat, if I score I'm expecting a very special reward from you, lady." he winked, and then dashed off towards the pitch to catch up with the rest.

As soon as he had gone I literally collapsed backwards onto the grass with the biggest of smiles on my face, and not one second later I found myself with Rosie, Jools, Mabs and Jas all piled on top of me, screaming like excited teenage girls... which, come to think of it, we are.

"Ohmigosh ohmigosh ohmi_gosh, _Gee!" Mabs shrieked when we all finally extracted ourselves from the pile, "You two are quite literally a_dorable_!!!"

"I knooooow..." I said moonily, "I am quite literally in seventieth heaven. Jas, did you tell them _exactly _what happened?" And they nodded away.

"It's so cute," Jools said, "So, did you see this coming for a long time?"

At that, Jas and Rosie started rolling their eyes like mad loons, "Of _course," _RoRo said, "It took them an _age! _I've never seen two people flirt so openly for so long and still deny that there's anything there."

"She didn't deny it to me," Jas said, sounding a bit snooty, "I had to hear all about her ridiculous red-bottom and immaturity every time she accidentally snogged him."

Rose's head snapped up and her expression straightened, "Hold on, there was accidental snogging involved? I didn't realise you were _that _far!"

"Yars indeed," I admitted, "Since that party last year, RoRo, there have kind of been far too many accidental snogs to recall, in fact I don't think I even remember them all."

"The time after that Dylan's gig, when you two disappeared?" Jools asked, and I nodded.

"When we were camping," Mabs said, "On the WilsoNuddy-pants weekend... And you and Dave went off into the woods."

Again, I nodded, adding "In a river."

And Rosie said "Coooor, steamy... And that time he walked you home from school?"

"To be honest," I said, "Most days when he walked me home from school we ended up snogging."

"So, like..." We heard a dither from behind us, and all swung around to face the up until now silent Ellen, who had a harsh look on her face, "What I'm, like, hearing, is that you and Dave aren't just some kind of like, rebound type thing or something, after... Well, after Masimo dumped you."

"Erm..." Pants, what do I say to that? "No, Ell, we're definitely not a rebound thing... Dave and me have almost got together quite a few times."

"Like, at the fish party." She actually looked quite fierce and unlike Ellen, "When you sort of snogged him even though he was, well. My boyfriend."

"Well..." I squirmed, "Yeah... But you know, I was with Robbie at the time so we were both to bla-"

"S_peaking of whom!!!!" _Rosie yelled, sensing how dangerous things were getting and seizing her opportunity to change the subject, "How does the Laugh compare to the Sex God, you know, snogging wise?"

"Yeah," Jools pipped in, "And is he better than Masimo?"

"Hmmm," I considered, giving Jools and RoRo a little thankful smile, "I would say he is definitely better than the stallion, yes... Much more variety with Dave, and it feels much more natural - I mean, Masimo was groovy and all but I was always on the verge of a nervy b around him, worrying that I'd do the wrong thing or something. And as for the Sex God... Dave's technique is better, yes, but the thing is with Robbie is he was my first proper snog, and I think that stays with you for-"

"Georgia." Mabs cut across me, a panicked look suddenly on her face, "Stop talking. Right now." How vair puzzling indeed.I looked over my shoulder to see what had caught her eye and got her knickers in a twist...

Just in time to see Robbie Jennings, the original Sex God, re-landing. And by re-landing, I mean walking right towards me with a smile on his face. Ooomph.


	5. Chapter 5

Yaaaaaay, my mock exams are over! Here, in celebration, is chapter five, which is quite exciting even if it is a bit short... Ah well. Just to let you know, things are probably going to get a bit mad coursework-wise soon, but I will try to update as often as I can. Thank you for all the lush feedback I've had so far, please enjoy and review this chappie!

Donna xxxx

* * *

**2:02 pm**

**Park**

"Alright girls, how's things?" The SG said casually as he reached us, with a smile.

"Hiii..." The gang all said slowly and dreamily... It is so obvious, no matter how much they try to deny it, that every single one of them blatantly feels the call of the horn for Robbie, and to be honest, who can blame them? He really is gorgey, and as a faithful girlfriend to Dreamboat and non-red-bottomed thing, I feel perfectly justified in admitting that.

"Hello, Robbie." He smiled down at me, and held out a hand to pull me to my feet.

"Hey, Gee," He said softly, "Can we talk? The guys are still warming up so I've got a few minutes before the game starts."

"Yeah," I said quickly, "But... Can we also walk?" And I grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the tree, as I am all too aware that the girls will be hanging on our every word like annoying listening ear dogs or whatever you call them otherwise.

"So..." He asked, "Did you get my message?"

"Yeah... It was really nice, actually, there were fifteen other annoying ones from the nutters I call friends, so it was good to hear a sane person speak for a change."

He laughed, "I'll take that as a compliment of sorts. So Gee, last night, with you and Dave, that was...?"

"That was our official get-together announcement, yes. We don't exactly go for conventionalosity, you may have noticed. I can see how it was a bit of a shock for people..."

"I was quite surprised, I'll admit." He said with a smile, "It just seemed very soon after things ended with Masimo... Well, in fact, it was about five minutes... I don't mean anything bad when I say this, Gee, but are you sure this isn't some rebound thing? Because I'd hate to see you two get hurt-"

"No." I said firmly, "Absolutely not. It was kind of always going to happen, I think." It amazes me a little bit how I can talk so openly to Robbie these days without having a ditherspaz, totally opposite to how it used to be... But I don't know, it feels like something's different between us now there's not a single smidgen of a romantic aspect anymore, and it's just about having someone really lovely and great to talk to. Very naaaaaice.

"Pretty much ever since you suggested him to me all those gazillions of moons ago, me and Dave have been on the verge of getting together... No, it's most definitely serious, as serious as two... erm... librarians."

He looked a little bemusified and shook his head slightly in a fond-y way, "Georgia Nicolson, you are quite literally the most bonkers lady on the planet, you know that. It's what I liked about you right from the start."

I put on a fake deep voice in a really crap imitation of him and said "I'll take that as a compliment of sorts." And then I smiled at him, "Seriously though Robbie, I do hope we can keep in touch this time when you go. It's good to talk."

"Definitely. Ill have to let you know how the band's getting on-"

"_Yeah_," I couldn't help it, I raised an eyebrow and teased, "And you can tell me all about how Lindsay follows you to London and stalks you while you're there..."

"Ugh..." He sounded a bit exhausted, "Don't, Georgia. I am _so _not going there again. She was just... too much, you know?"

"I do know." I said, "We'll have to talk about it sometime... But right now I think you just might be wanted on the pitch." I gestured over to where the lads were leaping about like lizards trying to get Robbie's attention_._Vair _amusant._

"So I am." He smiled, and signalled _two seconds _over to the rest before turning back to me, "Well Gee, this was good... Good to make sure everything's cool between us, you're a great friend."

"Of course," I said, and pulled him in for a hug. It is really nice actually, like hugging a brother or best friend, now that everything between us is sorted, and I really do wish him all the best, and all that jazz..

I was just thinking about how stupid and jelloid he used to make me when I was a mere silly fourteen year old with no maturiosity... and that's when I heard it. A noise that has always made me giddy before, but now just made me go all rigid and terrified in Robbie's arms.

"You ok?" He asked me, "Gee?" But I couldn't speak. All I could do was turn and look... Turn and look at the sight of Masimo, slamming the brakes on his scooter very very close by, leaping off and storming towards us, a quite horrible fierce look in his eye.

"Oh, christ." Me and Robbie both muttered in unison, simultaneously holding our breath as he got closer.

"So." Masimo said angrily as he reached us with a blazing expression that I've never seen before and don't much like, "_So._"

And, because I am of course unbelievably stupid and because my brain froze up completely and reverted back to that of a five year old like it does when I am under pressure, all I could think to say was "So what?" In a way which would make Vati yell at me for cheekiness. Oh _merde_.

"_What?_" He looked even angrier, "So you not understand me, Georgia? So last night I tell you things are being over between us, that it does make me very sad and you seem very sad too, and then ten minutes later you are running out and doing holding Dave's hand looking as right as rainbows and very happy - who Dave you dance with at the gig and tell me it is nothing. You are left me feel very embarrassed, and then now today, I find you in the arms of another _Robbie?" _

"No..." I struggled, not knowing what to say as he stood there looking like he hated my guts, "Masimo, it's not... I don't..."

"Come on, Masimo, mate, calm down a bit, eh?" Robbie said, being very calming and putting a gentle hand on Masimo's shoulder, "Me and Georgia aren't like that in the slightest any more, you know that-"

"NO!" Masimo yelled, yanking his arm away from Robbie's and turning back to me, "I want to hear what the girl have to say about herself. Do you never like me? Do you lead this on the whole time, play pretending games so you and your Dave can be having a LAUGH?!" He kept coming closer and closer to me, and by now he was right in my face as he shouted - absolutely terrifying but I couldn't do a thing, "WELL?"

I let out a little scared whimper because I honestly thought he might hit me, and Robbie turned completely serious, "Alright, Masimo. Get away from her, _now, _you hear me?" He grabbed roughly ahold of Masimo's arm and started to pull him away from me... And then Masimo, with a completely horrible look in his eye, swung around and punched Robbie right in the face, and there was a horrible _crack_ as I heard a fist colliding with a nose.

He was knocked to the ground, his hand clamped to his face a blood poured from his nose. I gave Masimo a horrified look that was full of disgustosity, and immediately dropped to my knees beside Robbie. Within seconds, every single one of our lads was over from the football pitch, Tom joining me by Robbie's side and Rollo, Edward, Declan, Sven and Dave all standing in a really menacing half circle and closing in on Masimo with matching, terrifying expressions on their faces.

"I think," Dave said very gently, "That you know you ought to leave, Masimo. Right now."

"Wha-?" Masimostruggled to remain looking defiant while he nursed his hand and looked warily at the five boys surrounding him, all of which were very tall and muscular-looking, "You, you are supposed to be scaring me? Yes?" He managed pathetically.

"Oh, no." Dave said, as him and the other four clenched their fists, "I wouldn't want you to be scared in the slightest, Scarlotti, never. I just mean exactly what I said. That you are leaving. _Now._"

And, quite sensibly, he scarpered, shooting me, with my arm around Robbie, a disgusted look before dashing off back to his stupid scooter. As soon as he left, the Ace Gang, who had all been watching scarededly from a distance, came running over being all dramatic.

"Flash git." I heard Dave mutter as Masimo whizzed off on the scooter, before he turned with a serious look on his face and said "Bloody hell, Robbie mate, you alright?" And the SG manage to reply something I couldn't hear, in a really thick muffled voice from behind his hand as Tom helped him to his feet.

"And you, Georgia?" Dave asked, and I looked up from my spot sitting on the floor to see him looking down at me really gently, along with Tom, Robbie, Jas, Rosie, Sven, Jools, Rollo, Mabs, Edward, Ellen and Declanall gathered around in quite a scary circle.

"Oh, you know me," I said, sniffing, "I'm as alright as... As two alrighty..." And I burst into tears.

Before even one second had passed, I found myself gathered in Dave's arms, and he held me and sort of rocked me really gently as I just cried and cried and cried.

**3:00 pm**

**Outside my house**

Oh, everyone I know really is tippy-top and fab and also vair marvey, so lovely and kind after what happened. Everyone gave me huge cuddles, even Sven (which was quite alarming) and then after I had apologised about nine hundred time to Robbie and hugged him as hard as I could without hurting him, Jas and Tom took him to the hospital and everyone else walked with me to the end of my street in a huge parade.

Rosie was being barmy and trying to cheer me up by walking dead seriously at the front, holding an old twig she'd found like a cane and pretending to be the guy who leads a funeral procession, which I have to admit came very close to making me laugh. Anyway, when we got to the end of my street there was another round of hundreds of hugs as everyone went their separate ways, with promises of lots of chocolate and cheesy snacks from the girls next time I see them and promises to kick six kinds of _merde _out of Masimo if he ever shows up again from the boys... Oh, happy days.

And then... And then it was just me and Dave, and even though we didn't say a single word to each other the rest of the way, it was like we didn't need to - he just held my hand really tightly and it was so lovely and comforting that I was starting to feel more than a touch of the jelloidand ad-hoc puckering by the time we reached my front gate.

"Well, Sex Kitten, I guess you could say today didn't exactly go according to plan."

"No, not really," I said, feeling quite nervous for some reason, "But Dave... I just want to say you were really great stepping in when thingsgot horrible, and being so lovely and I'm proud and well... Thanks, I guess." Why in pants' name am I finding it so hard to get words out? Good lord, there is something wrong with me.

"No problem," He smiled, "That's what I'm here for, gorgeous. Couldn't have you getting hurt, or Robbie for that matter."

"You do know," I said quickly, as a horrible thought occurred to me, "That when I hugged him, that was nothing-"

"Nah, don't be silly, KittyKat," He waved his hand, "I'm not the jealous type like your poncey Italian ex luuurver... Robbie's sound, I know that, and he's a really nice guy. Although..." He added, and raised one eyebrow in the cheeky way that lets me know snogging is not far off on the horizon, "If he has got his sights on you, young Georgia, he'd better understand who he's up against..."

Ahhh, there it is. Number five straight away, cutting out all the boring nonsense numbers below that... He really is the grooviest of snoggers, I could quite literally do this all day...

"Waheeeeeeeey!" I looked up, with a murderous glint in my eye which I am quite proud of, to check which _idiote _had commit edthe crime of interrupting our snog-fest and was about to have their death wish fulfilled, to see Oscar, Mr Across the Road's ever-horny twelve year old son, watching us from his sad little bike... He really does represent everything that is wrong with life as we know it.

"Nice one, mate!" He yelled with a smirk to Dave, "You've bagged a top one there!" And then made some obscene grabbing motion relating to my nunga-nungas, the little twerp.

Dave just let out a surprised splutter of laughter, while I turned fiercely to the metaphorical molester, "Right, that is _it, _you complete and utter little pr-"

"LIBBY! NOOOOOOOOOO!" I was cut off mid-sentence by a screech, and spun around to see that it was coming from the upstairs of my house, where Libby was standing on the window sill and dangling Gordy out of the open window by the scruff of his neck, while my incompetent mother screamed like a loon and tried to get her to come down. Libby was having none of it though, and beating dear old mutti with Mr Fish behind her back. I despair, really I do.

**3:25pm**

**Libbs' Room**

My mother, for the first time in her life, is being sensible and attempting some sort of order and discipline in our household, and therefore Libby has been sent to her bedroom (where the window has been firmly shut) for the rest of the day as punishment for attempting to hurl Gordy out of the upstairs window. Listening from downstairs at the screeches and bangs and yelling and scratching coming from up there as she tried to escape, you'd think my mutti had shut a small sabre-toothed tiger in there with her.

Decided to go and try to calm her down, which was a long and difficult task, but I eventually managed to get Libbs to stop screeching and get her to tell me what happened... Not much progress, I'm afraid.

I said nicely, "Now darling, was it just an accident? You didn't _mean _to dangle Gordon out of the window, did you?" To which she replied, "Yes. Little tosser."

**4:05pm**

It turns out that Libby did it because she was trying to wrestle Gordy into a pair of fairy wings and he gave her a scratch approximately 3mm long on her finger. _Qu'est-ce que, _I ask you, _est le _point????

**5:00pm**

Wandered into the kitchen, where Gordy was in his basket shivering and sneezing around with traumatosity, and mutti was standing in front of the oven wearing an apron, looking as though she might be cooking for a change... But on closer inspection, it turned out she was just standing filing her nails with an emery board.

"So, Nigella," I said, vair full of witnosity as always, "What delicious, nutritious home-cooked meal will you be preparing for the family this evening?"

She glanced around in a bored looking way, blatantly ignorez-voused my question and said in a disinterested voice, "Why are your eyes so little and piggy and why is there what appears to be blood on the sleeve of my leather jacket?"

Horrible woman. I said, very calmly, "Mother, in no way on earth is that any of your business whatsoever."

And she said, "Yeah, ok, I suppose you're right." And then got a red nail varnish out of the pocket of her apron (cheap or what?) and started to paint her nails on the counter.

"I mean it, mutti. You are not going to get this out of me, you know." I said.

"Oh, ok then." She yawned.

"Honestly. Not ever, not even if I am under pain of death, am I going to tell you."

**5:15pm**

Told mutti everything, all about the park and Masimo and Robbie and Dave, the lot of it. I don't know how she does it, she's like a conversationalist wizard in that she can somehow make me tell her anything she wants to know and I have no power to stop myself.

And after all that, her fabulous, mind-boggling reaction?

"Three boys clamouring for you? Nice work, little Gee. Just like me at your age. Mind, I still think you've bagged the fittest of the lot with Dave the Laugh,.. Corrr, he is a tasty one like." And then she ambled off into the hallway to ring one of her mates, blowing on her stupid tarty red nails. Huh.

Think I will just eat this half a Babybel cheese that's in the fridge and then go to bed.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you again for all of the lovely reviews! Please keep it up and be constructive, like let me know what you enjoy and don't because it is such a help in improving my writing. :) Going away for the weekend so the wait will be a few days for the next chappie... Hope you enjoy ayways!

Donna xxx

* * *

**Sunday, October 16th**

**6:30 am**

Crikey Moses, it's early! I wonder why in God's name my body clock has woken me up at this godawful hour?! Perhaps it is trying to tell me something. Something it needs. Yoga perhaps? A bright and early salute to the sun? Oooh, I know.

**Two minutes later**

Went downstairs and scrabbled around in the back of the kitchen cupboard for it's only edible contents: the lonely little Variety Pack box of cocoa pops. Yumyumyumyumyumyum.

**30 seconds later**

There is not, however, any milk in the fridge that is any less than two weeks out of date. I despair, really I do.

Back in bed now, trying to eat the cocoa pops as quietly as possible which is really vair hard when there is no milk and they are crunching away like billy-o. I really must keep quiet though, otherwise Libs might wake up and come and hit me for eating her last little box of "bobo trots". I do actually still feel quite tired, but I must ignore that fact. In just a minute I will get up and begin my yoga exercises. Yes.

**6:45 am**

**Still In Bed**

I wonder if it is too early to phone Dave the L-

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

**10:00 am**

Pantaroonies, I just woke up with the little cardboard box on my face and my whole bed covered in cocoa pops. I really must work on not falling asleep in the middle of doing things, i.e. eating cocoa pops or answering one of Herr Kamyer's questions about physics, both of which I have nodded off during in the past week.

**10:35 am**

Right, I have decided how I plan to spend my day, being a good little girl and not touching the phone or going out and wasting money on things I don't need. No, instead I will spend the day doing refreshing yoga exercises, listening to dolphins or quite possibly Mozart and cleansing my mind with some brain-teasers to keep my noggin in tip-top physical condition.

Will just have a quick flick through Mutti's new _Cosmo _first.

**11:00 am**

Ooooooh, I have just remembered that Jazzy left a fiver on my desk the other day!! She claims it was an accident and wants it back but I like to think that subconsciously, she left it for me as a little best-friendy pressie. I will not, however, spend it on pointless items of crap, rather will get back to my yoga immediately.

**5:00 pm**

Vair fab and groovy day. Phoned RoRo and we decided to go shopping for nail glue and also some of the sealant stuff that you put on over your lipstick and it is supposed to keep it there all day, no matter how much snogging is done. It is truly a most fantabulous solution to the age old lippy/gloss snogging dilemma!!! Even though the fact does remain that I tend not to wear bright lipstick as it draws attention to my nose. My nails are also in immaculate condition and have no splits and therefore do not need glue, but it is always good to have these things, just in case.

Told Rosie about yesterday's inspiration vis-a-vis conjoining the couples' names, and she thought it was marvey. We went and sat on the bench outside Boots and created the rest of the list along with our vital roles in the group, while doing make-up touch-ups and fluttering our eyelashes at passing boys.

**Official Ace Couple-ios and how they must forthwith always be referred to:**

-Rosie and Sven - _Svonie_, the ever snogging Vikings

-Georgie and Dave - _Geeve, _aka Pantsman and Cosmic Boy Entrancer

-Jazzy and Tom, obviously - _Jam _the vole obsessors and Midget-gem suppliers

-Jools and Rollo beith _Roollso, _oh thous who art unable to stayeth together for longer than a week- er, eth

-Mabs and Ed- _Mad, _Snogging Advisor and Public Enemy Number One respectively

We fretted a bit, given the current situation with my Dreamboat and his jealous ex-snogee, over whether to include Ell and Declan, but they really are vital members of our little group love-fest and so we did add on to the end:

-Ellen and Dec - the Ditherqueen and future England footie captain that are _Elclan_

Good times, good times.

**6:30 pm**

Mmmm, have just had a lovely nutritious meal of stew cooked by my adoring mother. Not. The olds and the mini-mad (Bibbs) are in the front room watching _Spiderman _and eating cheese on toast, although Mutti couldn't work out how to make the grill work so she just did the toast in the toaster and then placed lumps of cheese on the top which didn't melt. Quite literally cheese on toast. How delicious.

Phoned Dave.

"'Ello 'ello 'ello, what 'ave we got 'ere then?" He answered like an old policeman from the Victorian times, or quite possibly the eighties... I don't remember.

"Well good day to you, Sire." I said in my best posh butler voice, "How beith yourself the gentleman on this fiiiine day?"

"You what?"

"I _saaaid," _I cleared my throat,"That I was just enquiring as to your health, my lord."

"Err... I be fine-eth, my lady, and might I add you are looking very gorgeous this evening... Excellent work on the basooma front in that top."

My eyes widened and I looked down to make sure there hadn't been any horrifying attempts at breaking free... And then I realised he couldn't actually see me.

"Stop looking down at your nungas to check, Gee, I can't actually see you, you spoon. But I bet you a tenner that right now you're craning your neck to make sure I'm not at the window or looking through the letter box - I just know you far too well, Sex Kitten." I stopped craning my neck, looking embarrassed with a touch of ashamednosity. Thank god he can't see me.

"Anyway, gorgeous, can I ask the reasoning behind the posh voice?"

"Can I ask the reasoning behind the Policeman voice? That's just as bizzarre-o, my friend... Although there is actually a good reason behind the poshnosity..."

Told him how I was being Jeeves the butler, what with out combinedified names being _Geeve, _and about the other couple's names as well. He thinks it is an ingenious idea and laughed like a loon at _Mad._

**7:15 pm**

Still on the phone to Dave, although I fear we may have to say good bye soon as every now and then Vati pokes his head out of the living room door, glares for a moment at the phone in my hand before throwing me a hacky look and slamming the door again. Ooh eck.

**7:50 pm**

Eventually had to hang up just now as my father eventually snapped, and came bursting into the hallway shouting "FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, GEORGIA! WILL YOU GET. OFF. THE BLOODY. _PHONE!!!!"_

And I just had time to hear Dave say "Crikey, Gee, sounds like we ought to leave it there... Dig you soon, gorgeous, big snogs." And then hang up before Vati grabbed the handset out of my hands and slammed it down.

He then, after about two seonds, casually turned to me, with a huge smile on his face, and said "Have you had enough to eat, Georgie? Why don't you get yourself something and then come and watch Spiderman 2 with us? That would be nice." Before ambling off back into the lounge, adjusting his belt as he went. Such is the tragicosity and insanity of my family.

**8:00 pm**

In the kitchen, fixing a lovely dinner of carrots and what I really hope is houmous from the bottom of the fridge. Hmm, how to spend the evening now that the phone is off limits? I could go upstairs and do some yoga and breathing exercises... Yes, that's what I'll do, it really is very good for you, you know.

**26 Seconds Later**

**Halfway up the stairs**

Sod it. I'm going to watch Spiderman 2.

* * *

**Monday, October 17th**

**7:50 am**

Bugger, bugger and spaghetti bollock-naise, I have slept in! And the only reason I actually woke up when I did (i.e. 50 minutes late) was because my delightful baby sister came and leapt on me, wanting so show me her new "Fwens". Turns out, Libby _loooob_ed watching the Spiderman films last night and has made her own little versions of the characters, called Spiddy and MJ. MJ is a clothes peg with a piece of orange felt prit-sticked to the top, which is quite a remarkable toy in itself, but if I may say so, no Spiddy. Spiddy (who I think is supposed to be called Spidey, but she laaaaaikes that Spiddy half-rhymes with Libby) is literally just a bit piece of black felt all cut up with scissors, and does actually resemble a spider in quite a lot of ways.

**8:15 am**

_Scheisse, scheisse, scheisse, _I really desperately need to leave but cannot find my beret. And if I know Hawkeye, she'll be eyeing me up (not like that) like a hawk at the school gates, waiting to pounce...

**2 minutes later**

Seriously, where the hello kitty can it have got to? Bugger bugger bugger pant and also bugger bugger.

**5 minutes later**

Was running around the house looking for my beret in sheer desperadoes, wondering if it was humanly (or felinely) possible that Angus or Gordon could have eaten it... When Libby came up to me with a sorrowful look on her face, and silently held out Spiddy.

"Not now, Bibbles, I need to find my beret."

"Gingey..."

"Libby! I am sorry but I really don't have... Oh." because that was when I realised. The piece of felt that Spiddy was made of was not just a black piece of felt, nor was it Libby's for the cutting up. It was my sodding beret, the bane of my life. Now all the bane-ier.

**Break**

Sitting on the knicker-toaster in the Blodge lab with Jas and Rosie, while Jools and Mabs have nipped off to the tart's wardrobe... Cor, it really is nippy noodles.

"So," RoRo said thickly, her mouth full of KitKat, "How did the old eagle react to the sight of you walking in with a felt spider on your head?"

"Not too greatly, I'll be honest," I pondered, "I have to help old Elvis water the flowers for a week, quite ridiculously seeing as it's practically bloody monsoon season at the moment, but that's just the way the cookie crumbles."

At which point Jazzy, who had just popped a cookie into her mouth, went into complete hysteriosity mode with laughing, even though it was in no way funny. It must just be the way I tell 'em. I have to say, mind, I do not want to be regarded as a comedy genius if the result is one half of Jam (the fringey half) coughing and spluttering and snorting about, with tears rolling down her cheeks and crumbs flying everywhere... It's not an attractive sight.

Just then, we heard some huge thumping noises like people running, and even Jas managed to end her laughing fit in time to see Mabs bursting into the lab dramatically, shouting "STOP THE CAVALRY!!!" While Jools stood beside her and blew over and over again on a whistle she must have nicked from the PE department... The mustachioed one _will_ be pleased.

Apparently, they were in the loos doing their hair under the dryers (as you do) when they heard a wailing outside, and dashed into a cubicle just before Wet Lindsay and her dismal mate came sliming in, so they could listen to what she was blithering about.

They say (and this makes me absolutely delighted, I must admit) that it was something along the lines of "Ohhhhhhh god, this is all just soooo unfair!" In between sobs, "Nobody loves me, nobody even _wants _me, not Masimo, not even _Robbie _who I've always been able to wind around my little finger! No, they all want that disgusting little Nicolson witch, and I have no idea _why _because she is just so immature and stupid and her nose is the size of a bloody car! _And _she's just heartless, because she doesn't want either of them and she doesn't _need _either of them, she can afford to push them aside because she has that gorgeous Dave lad. In what way is that fair, Mon? _How? How _does she end up with the fittest lad at Foxwood, probably the fittest lad in Eastbourne, while I have _no-one???" _And Mabs and J say she went on like that for quite literally ages, hiccuping away about how jealous she is of me and how gorgey she thinks Dave is.

Ha! HahahahahahahahahaHA! This is absolute gold.

"_And," _Mabby giggled, "That's not the best bit!"

"What in the name of Buzz Lightyear's undercrackers could possibly be funnier than that?" Asked RoRo, who by now was literally lying on the floor with laughter.

"Well, after she had stopped bitching about Gee, she started rambling on about how ugly and stupid she thinks she is, which of course we've known all along," Jools said matter-of-factly, "And we heard her telling ADM... heard her saying..."

But she was laughing too much to finish, so Mabs took over in a delighted whisper, "She told ADM that she has a _pimple... _On her _ARMPIT!!!"_

**Seven Minutes Later**

We have all only just stopped laughing about the WL (Wet Lindsay) pimple incident... Stopped laughing, that is, until Rosie suggested we conjoin-ify the words "pimple" and "armpit" to describe WL's unfortunate skin growth as a _Pimpit. _And that just set us off all over again.

**Afternoon**

**Geoggers **

Uuuuugh, this is unbelievebly beyond the valley of the dull and entering the universe of the- Oh, screw it, I can't be arsed. Wrote Rosie a note:

_Rrrrrrrrosie, oh wise one,_

_Don't you think it's weird that Wet Lindsay discusses her skin problems with her mates? I mean, I would think nothing of talking about something like that with you or another Acie, but she has always seemed so up herself and plastic that it's a bit weird. Makes her seem more... Normal, somehow. Gee xx_

I watched her as she read it, and then seemed to deliberate over her reply, sucking on the end of her pen in a thoughtful way before she wrote back two minues later:

_The day pimpits are classed as normal, the world that we live in has officially been flushed down the poo-parlour division. Ciao._


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry about the delay on this one! Thanks again for the reviews, keep the lovely constructive comments coming - much appreciated. Enjoy! xxxx

* * *

**Tuesday, October 18th**

**4:10pm**

Yummy scrumboes with a hint of lush, we were on the way out of Stalag when suddenly Rosie stopped and dropped to her knees, loudly screeching "HOOOOORN!!!" This was nothing out of the ordinary so we all ignored it, but what was odd was when she casually got back to her feet and added "...Meister." On the end, and pointed towards the school gates, where I looked up to see the Dreamboat extraordinaire (aka Dave the L) leaning against a tree at the entrance.

Vair vair good news: he looked absolutely swoon-tastic with his top two shirt buttons undone and his school tie loosened. Mmmph. What I love about him (whoops, I said it again) is that he does give me a touch of the jelloid, but it is not as if I go into a complete non-speaky ditherspaz when I see him like I did with a certain Italian brand of twat and, to an extent, the SG.

Unfortunately, news which is vair full of badnosity: Ellen nearly choked on her KitKat the moment we all caught sight of him. Oh, hell's teeth, what am I going to do about her? She still won't speak to me properly...

Anyway, I was just smiling and carrying on towards the gate when I realised the Ace Gang had disappeared, and I looked around to see that they'd all turned and started walking back towards school, for some totally bizarre-o reason.

"Oi!" I yelled, running back over to them "Chicklets! Where're you going?" They all looked quite shocked at that, heaven knows why.

"Well we assumed you were in need of an emergency trip to the tart's wardrobe." RoRo said.

"Why in arse's name would you assume that?"

"Well, because Dave is there and you are wearing your skirt long and your hair in a ponytail and you are _sans maquillage_."

"So?" I asked, quite full of bemusiosity "It's only Dave!"

"Well yeah, but... Christ, Georgia, are you alright?"

"Oui, mon petits copines, je suis vair vair ok."

"But... Gee, he's a _boy."_

"Weirdly enough, Rose, I had noticed. But to be honest it doesn't matter, really, does it? It would be stupid to get tarted up and waste time when I know he likes me already, like this."

And then, vair vair weirdly and all in perfect synchronosity, the entire gang (except for Ellen, who was dithering, looked like she was about to cry and clearly wanted to leave), took off their jauntily angled berets and held them to their chests, wiped a pretendy tear from their eyes and then just gazed at me.

"We're losing you, Gee. I knew this day would come, I just..." Rosie gave a huge theatrical sob, "Never thought it would be so soon!"

"Oh, you silly minxes, the lot of you! Shut up." I said, and pulled the four of them into an all-round hug, "Now, if you'll all excuse me ladies, I'm away laughing on a fast camel for my appointment with a Groove Machine." And I gave them all the special klingon salute and skipped off towards Dave, quite literally.

**4:15pm**

"Well here she comes, Eastbourne's premier skipping queen!" Dave said when I reached him, and actually lifted me off my feet and did a little twirl. Romanticostic or WHAT?? "What I meant to say was, how are you, gorgeous?"

"Fabbity, thanks," I replied with a grin, as he still had his hands on my waist, "If you ignore the several hundred hours I just spent in the concentration camp they call school these days."

"Ugh, I know the feeling, KittyKat." And he was just about to kiss me when along came the biggest moment-destroyer the world has ever seen, in more ways than one.

"Georgia Nicolson, what have I told you about such inappropriate behaviour on school grounds, you are setting a bad blah blah blah blah..." Or words to that effect. We both looked round, startled, to see Slim glaring at us and walking across to the gate, with Wet Lindsay sliming along behind her looking totally chuffed with her own slaggy little self.

And what happened next was vair vair amusant - before Slim could reach us and subsequently (yes, I really did just use that word!) give us the bollocking of a lifetime, Dave yelled "Sayonara!" And then he went for the Sven technique, actually picking me up and putting me over his shoulder, and ran out of the school, leaving everyone gawping like gawping things, once again. We really do have a knack for attracting attention whenever we exit places.

**5:30 pm**

Having a marvey time round at Dave's, it is so lovely just to be us and have a laugh just like we always do... With muchos added snogging bonus, obviously! For some reason (and I'm not exactly sure why, but such is the randomosity of our mad little relationship) we have decided that the highlight of our evening will be watching "Deal or no Deal" and that we simply must have the standard accompanying popcorn. And of course, rather than going down to the shop like normal peoples to buy it, we have decided to make it ourselves.

All I will say is, _c'est un recipe pour _disaster. We had just discovered that when you put the corny kernel things into a pan and put the pan on the heat, it really is essential to put a lid on the pan, or bits of popcorn tend to start flying and popping like... er, popcorn, around the entire kitchen, when the phone rang. Dave, who was desperately crashing about in a drawer trying to find a lid and shielding his eyes from getting popcorn in them, yelled "Gee, can you get that?"

I don't really want to answer the phone in someone else's house in case it was a company or Dave's mutti, saying "Excuse me, but who the hell are you, strange girl, and why are you answering my phone?" Or similar. helphelphelp, do I answer with just _Hello_ or possibly _Hello, Georgia speaking, _or _Hello, Dave's house _or even _Hello, Murphy household... _In the end I played it safe after staring at the phone until it nearly rang out.

"Hello?"

"Bonjourno, ma cherie!" Only Rosie... Cue sigh of reliefosity.

"Hiiii, Mrs Svenster, what's occurring?"

"Just ringing to..." She trailed off, "Errrrrm, Georgie, what in the name of the virgin Mary's thong is all that noise?" And I realised she was talking about the huge clattering and crashing and swearing coming from the kitchen as the popcorn situation evidently got worse.

"Oh, it's just Dave." I said brightly, "We're cooking."

"That makes sense. Anyhoodles, I was ringing around to see who's up for the flicks tomorrow night? So far Jam and Roollso and Mad and also one half of Elclan are up for it, but the other half is still dithering because, well, you know... What do you reckon, batman?"

Shouted into the kitchen, "Dave, do you fancy the piccies with everyone tomorrow night?"

_Bang, clatter, pop pop crash pop, _"Depends! Will there be - Oh, _Merde!_ - snogging?"

I sighed, "Yes, you shallow excuse for a boyfriend!!! I promise!"

_Pop pop crash clatter pop bang, _"Fair enough then, Sex Kitten! And tell RoRo to wear that purple top which shows off her nungas!"

I laughed, "He said-"

"I heard." Rosie cut me off, before shouting down the phone so loud that Dave could actually hear it from the kitchen, "ONLY IF YOU WEAR THAT DENIM MINI WHICH SHOWS OFF YOUR LEGS, YOU CHEEKY TART!!!!" And then continued normally, unaware that she has just burst my eardrums, "Well, fabby then! We'll all meet at the clock-tower at seven, _comprendes?"_

_"Oui oui, ma copine. _And RoRo?"

"Yeah?"

"How come you didn't find it weird that you rang Dave's house and I answered?"

"Well Gee, it's pretty normal really... Sven's over here now, and when I rang Jas's Tom answered, so..."

"Yeah, that happens a lot... Annoying, really..."

"Yup."

"Well, hit me if me and Dave ever become as annoying as Jam, got it?"

"Defo. I swear on my oath as an ex-Brownie."

"Shut up, you went to _Brownies?" _Haaaahahaha, if that is true she's never living this down ,ever.

"No. Ciao, sexy."

"Ciao." As soon as I hung up, I heard a voice from behind me, sounding very disappointed.

"Oh, she's gone? Crappity dooh dah, I wanted to tell Rosie that my miniskirt's in the wash." I turned to see him standing in the kitchen doorway looking absolutely drained, with his hands behind his back and a charred tea-towel slung over his shoulder. His hair is ridiculously messy now, sticking up at literally all angles... Ohhh, I luuurve him.

"Never mind." I raised an eyebrow, "You can just wear _your _low-cut top that shows off your basoomas. And everyone knows that cleavage is better with jeans." He smiled weakly, before nudging me in the direction of the living room (without his hands, might I add, which are still holding something behind his back, so he had to use a half-headbutting motion to get me to move, which made us both laugh terribly) and didn't stop until I sat down on the sofa. He then took the teatowel from his shoulder, and put it over whatever is behind his back... On closer inspection, a bowl.

"You'd beter be ready for this." He told me with a wink, before pulling the tea-towel off with a flourish... To reveal about six hundred thousand bits of popcorn, every single one of which is charred and burnt and smells like coal. Ugh.

He does, however, look ridiculously proud of himself for trying, and we kind of locked eyes for a few seconds, a tiny smile playing in the corners of both of our lips... And then, simultaneously, we just burst out laughing, and before I knew it he's on the sofa with me and all of the tickling lark has started again.

Sod "Deal or no Deal"... Let the snogging extravagansa begin!

**11:30pm**

Wow. Wowzee wowzee wow, what an interesting day. Me and Dave had been snogging for probably about fifty minutes (I gave up counting after the mathematical fiasco on Saturday regarding numbers on the scale... far too complicated) and were just having a bit of a breather. We had ended up lying on the sofa sort of curled up with each other, very very lovely, and he was just quietly stroking my hair while Noel pranced about on the tellybox going "Are you _sure _you're happy with box fifteen?" And my mind had started to wander.

"Dave?" I said quietly, not looking at him.

"Mhmm?"

"You know the other day, at the park, when Rosie said about how long it took us to get together... Do you think she was right?"

He muted the TV, "Erm... I dunno, Gee, what do you mean? That we should have got together earlier?"

"Well yeah, kind of." I sat up, and turned so I was facing him, cross-legged, "I mean, think about it. there were boat loads of times when we were close, when we absolutely could've... Like, right after Robbie left for Kiwi-a-gogo. I was on my own and you had just dumped Ellen, way before there was ever a Rachael or an Emma or a Masimo in the picture - why do you think we didn't?"

"Well, He sighed, "I did think the same thing at first, babe, but then I got to remembering, remembering how I felt at the time. And looking back, it kind of makes sense... We went through everything that we did, with Ell and Rach and Emma and Robbie and Masimo, and at the time it seemed awful when things weren't going right, but now it seems like a good thing, what with the experience we gained. So, like that time you were talking about last year, right after things finished with Ellen and Robbie - Do you remember what I said to you?"

"We went for coffee," I remembered, "And we were both pretty upset and it was one of those times when we were close, but you said... you said _We are only teenagers and we've never been teenagers before so how can we know what we are supposed to do? Let's just say for now that we..._ Erm, that we..."

"_That we live live live for the moment,_" he continued from me, "_Blow our cosmic horns and be done with it. _And we did, with each other and with the rest of them, we both needed to... And I think it's safe to say we both realised it was pretty pants. No stability, never knowing what bombshell would come next... The fact is that back then, we would never have lasted, Gee, and you know that. We were both too stupid and indecisive and had _meeega _cases of the red-bottom, and we would have ended up hurting each other."

"Mmm." I said, "I kind of think the same thing... You were exactly what I needed back then, when I was confused and what have you, you were a really good friend and someone who could always make me feel better without things getting too serious. And you were always on my mind..."

"Exactly." He nodded, "No matter who I went out with, how much I played the field, it always came back down to you, Georgie. Even when I was with some really great girl, I would find myself comparing her to you without meaning to, and you _always _won. Which is how I know this is right."

It is quite literally one of, if not the most un-laughy conversation I have ever had with him, and surprisingly it felt absolutely amazing, to talk about this properly and not have anything left unsaid, I feel like I understand him much better after today and value what we havebeyond belief-io ... But clearly, the lovey-dovey serious chat couldn't go on for long, there obviously had to be _something _to nicely change the tone and make us both hysterical with laughter. And it came as, just as he was leaning in to kiss me, his gorgey lips literally two inches from mine, a really weird look suddenly came over his face and he pulled back. I was quite freaked out and a bit worried... But then he reached up, a small half-smile on his face...

And silently extracted a piece of popcorn from my hair.


End file.
